Wednesday, May 13th
So I guess, the real answer is that there is no easy answer. You just have to go for it, or not. JD: You want me to go first? Elliot, I've never been able to get over the idea of us. I'm still crazy about you.
Elliot: I don't really know what you want me to say.
JD: Maybe you could tell me if you feel the same way?
Elliot: Yeah!
JD: Maybe you could say it without sounding angry.
Elliot: But, JD, you crushed me. I mean, I gave you my love, and you threw it back at my face, and pretty much scarred me romanticly. I mean, now I'm doomed to a life of gravitating to safe boring guys that I don't really love. And I'm repelled by the ones I care for deeply. So, thank you... for that.
JD: Look, if it helps, you hurt me too.
Elliot: Really?
JD: There were so many times I wanted to be with you so badly and you shut me down. Like when we first met, huh... When you wanted to be sex buddies.
Elliot: Oh yeah, but that's when I felt work so overwhelming, And I...
JD: Blah blah blah blah blah. I'm sorry, we've just been down this road so many times, you know? Seriously, does even talking about it just make you hate yourself a little bit?
Elliot: I can't tell from just doing the normal amount of hating myself,or if I'm at a slightly higher level of self-loathing.
JD: You're too hard on yourself.
Elliot: No, I'm not. I'm just stupid and ugly, and I have a pig face ... JD, we're just back here again because we're both lonely and neither one of us have had any physical contact for months.
(...)
JD: We have so much history.
Elliot: Most of it bad.
JD: Yeah.
Elliot: How can we ever get past that?
JD: We can't.
Elliot: Oh, good. That makes me feel better.
JD: But maybe, we could remember all our pit falls like a road map. Maybe, this time, we could avoid all the drama. We don't have to be that couple where one of us says they're moving out of town, the other one have to rush to the airport to stop them. We don't have to argue about whether or not we want to break.
Elliot: You watched the Friends marathon last night, didn't you?
JD: I did. I loved it. The point is, Elliot, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. And I've changed too. I have a beard now.
Elliot: Do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?
JD: Not as much.
(...)
Elliot: I know we're talking, but it still feels like we're being so careful, you know?
JD: We're just scared. I made so many mistakes in my life because I was scared. It's the reason I bailed when you said "I love you". It's the reason...
Elliot: Blah blah blah blah blah.
JD: OK. But I am scared of ending our friendship.
Elliot: What if I get hurt again?
JD: What if you pick up a new STD?
Elliot: For the last time, that was not an STD! It was a urinary tract infection, and I got it from having sex with you in a pond. I tell what else I don't want to deal with: all the judgements from everyone else. Dr Cox, Jordan. Even Turk and Carla. I mean, it's almost enough of a reason not to do anything.
